Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Challenges ahead

As the end of the year comes closer, the start of the Bead Journal Project 2010 comes nearer. I am getting a little anxious truly. Can I really do this? Wasn't I too bold to subscribe? She's back again: my inner critic. Some of my doubts and fears come from very unrealistic thoughts. The thing is, I got this wonderfull book on Pakjesavond: "The art of bead embroidery" by Heidi Kummli and Sherry Serafini. When I see a beautifull piece like this one (by Heidi Kummli), I can't help myself but wonder if I would ever be able to make such an outstanding work of art?

But I do have to correct myself, for both artists have been beading for decades and I just started last year. It is like comparing a toddler that just has started to walk and is making its first, wobbly steps into the big world to a trained walker who is used to walking several miles at an end. Hmm, so who is speaking here? It's not the practical mom, nor the artist I met in my earlier post. It is my inner critic again that is trying once more to scare me off. Let's call her the trickster who tries to make me believe that I would never be capable of such art and that being capable of creating outstanding work from the start is one of the demands of... Wait a minute, of what? Don't the rules on the Bead Journal clearly state that:

there is no BJP enforcement squad ?

So who am I kidding? What is the trickster trying to get me running from? It seems that in the upcoming months I will do some serious soul-searching to find my own voice, or should I say "voices"? Over the past months I have encountered many inner voices, not just while beading. They all are truthfully mine, even though some are louder than others, more eloquent or persuasive, all deserve to be heard. That will be the true challenge: to give way to all that is in me without judging. In other words: to witness myself and put that to my embroidery canvas so I will learn to walk steadily.

To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul.

Simone Weil (1910-1943) French Philosopher


  1. That's how I felt last year when I started. But it was an extremely satisfying experience. I know you'll enjoy it.
    Marty S
    Crackpot Beader

  2. Forget that Trickster. You have the right idea. Do not judge your own work. Don't look at the work of others and compare yours to it. All those voices will come forward in your work and you will learn more about yourself than you ever did before. The trick is to enjoy yourself and do the work for YOU with no thought to what others think. Its a personal journey. If you truely commit to it, you will amazed at the support and self confidence that you will find with us.


  3. great post Dees! Quiet that inner critic and just let yourself be. Watching others' creations is sometimes incredibly intimidating. Just listen to what is in YOU and bead. You shall be incredible.

  4. Oh Dees, this is just so beautiful, all of it! Your old friend Niina


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